i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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