Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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