My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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