Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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