Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
