covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
