I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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