I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
