why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Come on in and take your pants off
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