meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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