I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize