girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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