were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
