apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
