its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
