Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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