My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
