My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
FUCK WHALES
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
