Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
