Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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