My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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