Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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