I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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