Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
