fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
