Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we made out on top of his cat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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