I think i peed on brittanys purse
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
