If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize