erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
