Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
