Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So much rum. So many feels.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
