I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
