Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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