Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
being pregnant is like rehab
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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