Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Alive.
So much puke
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
