Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
