For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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