If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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