Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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