Can Purell be used as lube?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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