apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Ketchup is God's man juice
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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