have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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