yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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