You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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