I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
