I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
