Hey man sorry I got all grabby
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
