we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
