How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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