C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
