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Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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