maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think I just sharted jello shots
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
