People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
