even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
