this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
