i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This girl is more easily done than said...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Randomize
