Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
