i just sent this text using only my big toe
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
