i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
