we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
