first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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