I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Terrible idea I love it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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