Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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